Elsa from Frozen Arrested? (Ha-Ha, Very Funny, Motherfu-)

The following entry is going to probably be filled with a lot of coarse language and be very critical of the media. 

So I usually don’t write two blogs in one week (unless I want to) but this time I had to cause this just truly irritated me.Today and yesterday’s weather has been pretty cold and for some reason, as a joke, different News stations thought it’d be funny to make a reference to the movie Frozen. Saying, that “Oh, it’s super cold, so we better hunt down that chick from that Disney movie and tell her to calm the fuck down.” Yeah, I don’t go to the News for comedic headlines unless it’s from Jon Stewart or something so why the hell is every other News Station and their mom making this joke?

Khou (Channel 11 for those that live in Houston)  prides itself on delivering hard and relevant news to its viewers, yet they had an article that’s headline wrote “Elsa from Frozen Arrested” or “Police issuing arrest warrant for Elsa from Frozen” some shit like that. I’m sorry but if you’re a news station that is supposed to be viewed as Credible, I question your intent on that article, yes it’s obviously sardonic, but why the hell would Khou even bother wasting their time with that? The fact that this article is sarcastic still makes me question their credibility on future articles they try to pass because why if a News Station again, prides itself on delivering News that presents relevant  issues and truth to it’s viewers essentially spit on that by trying to make a joke?? It’s bad enough we as people are being told we can’t believe everything we read, this article is living proof.

All seriousness aside, is the headline funny? Sure. But does that mean it’s okay for Khou and USA Today to still publish it? I sure as hell don’t think so. Leave the comedic headlines to the professionals like The Onion. What’s really upsetting is they actually have pictures for the headlines that show a cop arresting a Blonde girl in a blue dress and placing her into a police squad. It’s bad enough they had to make the damn headline, but the fact that they went so far as to try to make it seem real to the reader makes me think, “Fuck the Police and Fuck the Media.”

I love comedy a whole bunch, but there’s a time and place for shit like that and I don’t need a News Station to tell me what some “Frozen” fan will tell me. What’s next, you gonna suggest they should arrest Ronald McDonald cause people don’t know how to just eat at home instead of taking advantage of the Dollar Menu? It doesn’t take a genius to suggest that maybe you as the News should talk about something relevant; you’re the fucking news. Not some stupid 21 year old on his net-book typing bullshit to a small audience.

-Mr. Writer

Written on the 24th of February at 9:53 p.m. 


Laziness Doesn’t Pay the Bills

Tonight’s blog fits in the category of Random Bullshit. I’m not sure how to start this blog so I’m just gonna let my persona just jump right into it. 

Laziness is a killer of many. One of my favorite comedians, Bill Burr said it best when he said, “Ever have one of those moments, when you just plan out your whole day then you just go, ‘You know what? Fuck my dreams…I’ll just lay here on this couch and have a good time'”.

It’s uncanny how things like that happen. We’ve all experienced a moment like that where we are highly motivated to do something big one moment and then a few moments later that motivation is gone. And it happens at the most random times. You could be having a wonderful sleep, and it’s so warm and toasty underneath your covers and the second that comforter leaves your body it’s as if you’ve walked into a blizzard (cause it’s super cold in the morning for some strange reason) but you have to use the restroom and you’re forced to make a choice: Should you leave the warmth of your bed to relieve yourself? Or should you remain in the toasty embrace of your blanket for a little bit longer and see if you’re able to hold it in a little longer?

It starts there and then even leads to whenever we are hungry. We’ll be sitting on the couch watching our favorite show and we finally got our legs in the right position and our head the right way facing the television but not so much that our neck is strained. And then you watch a food commercial and though you weren’t feeling hungry before, that new sandwich from Subway or whatever’s got your brain telling your stomach, “Hey that looks good, maybe we should eat.” But because your position on that couch is so comfortable, you hesitate for a moment on getting up because you realize that would require you having to also leave the house to get said sandwich from Subway. (Did I use that right? I don’t know.. fuck you if you wanna correct my grammar. I’m just writing what I’m thinking) Anyway, so instead of having to drive, you can just eat something at home. But because we are so lazy, we remember that seeing what we have in the house requires getting up as well. Yes, the fridge is not very far from us but again, we’re lazy. So you try remembering what you have in the fridge, right? “I think I’ve got some leftover Lasagna from when I went to that Italian Joint with Lisa. Unless my roommate ate it..”

I think two examples of laziness is enough; moving on. I wonder what chemical it is in our body that causes laziness. Is it from the food we eat? Most likely, right? But I envy those who are able to discipline themselves to not be lazy and always stay active. Although I’m sure they’ve had at least one cheat day where they’ve been lazy. No one is perfect. Hell I’ve been lazy trying to write a damn blog for a month, and I actually enjoy writing. The only reason why I wrote one today is cause I finally was motivated to write but it took me almost 30 minutes to think of something to write about cause I was being lazy.

But earlier today I got one of my friends to actually get up and not be lazy. She was in the comfort of her bed and was texting me telling me about how hungry she was, to which I told her the best way to cure that is food, but then again how would I know? I’m just a writer, not a doctor. And so she told me, “But I’m too lazy to get out of bed” (those weren’t her exact text but, you get the point. Plus you don’t need to know who or what I’m talking about, for all you know I could be just making all this shit up; which I am) and for some reason I don’t know what possessed me to say it, perhaps because of all the monetary responsibilities I’ve been forced to deal with as an adult, but I just said, “Laziness doesn’t pay the bills!”

The only thing that’s worse than laziness is procrastination. That’s something we’ve all been a victim of. Those two go hand in hand. I want to exacerbate on that, but I don’t want to bore the reader by going on and on so I’ll do it later

…Get it? That was a joke about procrastination and laziness in one.. Talk about two birds and one stone, right?

Anyway, going back to my earlier conversation, the person retorted with, “Eating doesn’t help pay the bills either”, to which I cleverly said, “Eating keeps you alive so you can pay the bills” and then she came back with, nothing because she couldn’t think of a comeback. With that in mind, 1 point for Mr. Writer.

However, there are two possible reasons why I earned that point. The first could be because, I truly did bring up a great point and she knew there was no way she could argue against it. Or the second, and perhaps just as likely as the first, she was too lazy to think of something clever to say back.

-Mr. Writer

Written on the 23rd of February, 2015 at 9:31 P.M.